Source link
Our house is very big and many people live in this house. In such a situation, I told my husband before marriage that I would consider becoming a mother only after completing a hotel management course and getting a job. However, while expressing his displeasure, he said that he is not working for the money of our family. I felt a little bad about it. My final year of hotel management course is going on but I haven’t got a job yet. Despite knowing everything, now my in-laws have started asking me when I will have a baby. (We are not disclosing the identity of the individual for privacy reasons.) (Photo courtesy: iStock)
No one understands
The worst thing is that even my in-laws know that I can’t even think of a child until I complete my education, but still they don’t object to such questions. In such a situation, my aunt mother-in-law advised me to go to the doctor if I have any problem, which made me very angry. Because the reasons for not having children are different and now my motherhood is being questioned. Having children is a completely personal choice for me and my husband, but I don’t see why other people should poke their noses into it. I do not understand how to deal with such relatives?
(Read:- Dad of 13-year-old girl who came to buy sanitary pads, that little help and what happened next was unexpected)
Answer from the wise
Working in Fortis Healthcare in Mental Health and Proving Department, Dr. Kamna Chhibbar says every family has its own culture and norms. It is very difficult for us to change their thinking. Things are even more difficult for you because you live in a joint family. Moreover, in such a family, relatives will notice in your life. So I think the only best way is for you to ignore them. Because you said something and took a step, it can lead to arguments in the house.
(Read:- Shloka and Radhika took these exams to become the daughter-in-law of the rich Ambani family of Gadganj, only then did they get entry into the family.)
Try to find out the reason
I can understand your feelings that these things are bothering you a lot. In that case I would say first of all find out the reason why your in-laws are putting so much pressure on you to have a child. So once you know the reason, it will be much easier for you to deal with it. Perhaps your in-laws are eagerly awaiting their grandchildren. Besides, you have been married for three years. It is certainly not easy to stay in a family together for so many years in such a situation.
(Read:- We have a relationship because of the word weightloss.)
Do not give any feedback
I understand very well that it upsets you to hear people talk. In such a situation I would say don’t react until your mind is calm. Besides, you can take support from your husband and in-laws when you understand the cause of the problem. Explain your point to them. Tell them you like children too. But career is also important for you right now. In such a situation, if you become a mother, your studies and education will be meaningless.
(Read:- My story: I am madly in love with a girl, but since I realized her truth, I have been shocked, what should I do?)
You should also understand them
On the one hand there is your side, on the other hand there is also their side. They want to see the grandchild’s face. Moreover, elders are of the opinion that such things are better done in time and that is not wrong at all. So you should also understand them. And they should also be assured that you will become a mother on time.
(Read:- I didn’t know anything about the wife before marriage, then the real horror came out, now I’m stuck)
